Sometimes the world just takes you places and you go with it and it's actually easy... sometimes.
This morning was rough.
This weekend was rough.
I will have to go into it later.
Right now, it's too fresh and painful. I might write a draft about it but it's too soon to share with the world even here in this invisible realm.
But I digress.
It's the day after Christmas and I'm gliding around trying not to fall apart. So many people have approached me over the last weeks.. months... and said that they have no clue how I am getting through it. Sometimes I wonder the same myself.
This morning I planned on driving quite a bit and making up for the money I didn't make due to taking some much needed time with my best friend while the (quite possibly the) one known as Stars... well did his thing with his own family and...
I ended up in Venice near the sign and felt compelled to get a picture for my Enlightened Travels Project. I stopped for a second and realized the shop on the corner had changed completely from a couple of summers ago and got bummed. I pulled forward and saw... clean parking. It was a ghost town. What better place for a ghost in the morning the day after Christmas?
I parked and grabbed a notebook. I would take a walk and enjoy the white crisp December air and contemplate. I made plans for the coming days. New Years Resolutions and simple but not always simple resolutions.*
*Stay tuned for some passenger stories about New Years Resolutions coming up on my City Driving Stories section soon*
I posted a little bit about it on my Youtube channel (ala yet another resolution) and stopped when I hit the skate park.
I hadn't been there in months.
It felt like another life then.
The memories blurred and...
I stopped the video.
I walked the beach.
I took some photos and devised even more plans.
I missed some photo opportunities.
I missed the chances to photograph subtle messages in the sand.
I was happy even if it wasn't completely happy.
But this is what I needed.
This is everything I needed.
I woke up this morning crying to nightmares both living and in dreams.
I read a message about one of them that will be written about later over on Little Mom, Big City.
I cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried.
I pulled myself out of it.
I'm not sure how I did that either.
It was a different way than the one I'd done the day before.*
*I filmed that and will be working on linking that when I finish compiling that in time.
I started working.
But then my car came here.
I'm not sure how or why but...
And so I walked Venice and contemplated life and perched myself on a spot that I have every intention of returning to.
I met someone who took photos of me and shared his story of his journey to writing and photography and more.
I'm not doubting that anyone who knows me would be surprised by any of this.
"You've got such a nice face." he said.
"Oh this one? But you don't know what the one on the inside looks like..."
We exchanged dialogue for a bit.
He asked me where I was from.
I answered in vague but aptly philosophical ways.
We parted ways but connected online.*
*You can check out his instagram here FYI.
He will send me the photos.
"I'll send you the good ones."
"Oh but I want the bad ones too." I told him.
"Why?" he asked me.
"Because without being able to see the bad we can't learn from it."
He smiled and walked away with his Leica.
I got a few more snaps.
I wrote few words before electing to attempt to turn to work.
I left a message in the sand.
It was a message for you.
It was a message for me.
It was a message for anyone and everyone going through their own Invisible journey.
Be merry my dears.
Be merry even when it hurts.
If you can...
Know that you can.
Even if your name isn't Jack nor Diane or you're not a Little Girl in a Big City from a Small Town or... even a place called Earth.
But until then... try and be... whatever that may be... or so some other song told me.
Ho Ho Ho*
*Yep another blog coming over on the normal out and about not driving city stories section coming up soon too.
(and a few words of prose here and there sometimes)