Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start

You hold the Contra Code to my...

Because sometimes you don't even need to swipe right to have a right moment.

"What's ghosting?" he inquired.
"You don't know? Oh Mr. H..."
"I'm serious. I hear it all the time and I want to know. I want to make sure I'm not doing it. If I am, I want to know."

The conversation took a pivot. It was a very seemingly logical one to an extent although not what either of us may have thought would be our tango of the evening.

"Well, you see..."

That night he was asking me to explain Tinder. I swiped right on a cute Ivy Leaguer.

"I have a weakness for academic pretty boys," I told him.

He just smiled and chuckled. He threw back another gulp of wine.

The conversation was calm and confident. It did not waver with the scared roars of jealousy or inadequacies. It was just...

It's been a decade now since we've done this. This is a way that things have been and perhaps may always be.  These are moments that are treasured. These are moments...

"So you just swipe until you see something you like then?"
"Something like that I guess."
"Is it just for getting laid?"
"I guess it could be but that's not what I'm doing. People use it for all sorts of things. Some use it to get laid, yes. Some use it for distraction. Some for relationships. I just..."

I continued swiping left.

"You're picky and popular. Look at those photos..."

I blushed and shrugged. It's humbling and this natural flow always catches me off guard even though it remained constant and unwavering for nearly a decade now.

I looked at the glass of wine and back at him and back to the screen again.

"Ooo that one?"

And we laughed together. We just sat together through it. He was happy no matter what. I was happy no matter what. It was company and the best kind. It was a familiar kind, however...

this one has never...

nor I don't believe nor hope would ever...


"That one reminds me of the bay. He just does. He has that look about him. There's something about it. I really miss being there..."
"I know you do."

It was a quiet moment.

It was a fuzzy moment. 

Not because of the wine or his beard but...

It was company and the best kind.

It was a familiar kind.

"Take me with you when you travel the world?"
"Why not? Of course. But you'd have to pull your weight."
"I guess it's a good thing I'm microscopic?"

We laughed and clinked glasses.

It was company and the best kind.

It was a familiar kind.

Without the pain of all that has previously felt familiar in the past.

But that's yet another [series of] story.*

"So what's ghosting?" he said with another laugh.
"Well when I moved North originally I had swiped right on one in particular but he was from here. The one actually decent date I went on via this thing..."
"Did you go on a lot in the bay?"
"No. Just one and that was a disaster."
"Why was it a disaster?"
"Do you want to know about ghosting?" I said as I tilted my head playfully.
"Yes please."
"Well basically it's when you go out or talk to someone and one side thinks it went well and maybe it even did but for whatever reason, there's no contact again after. The contact just vanishes like a ghost."

I was vulnerable. I was a bit... but he didn't make me feel icky or gross about it. He didn't make me feel worse.

He didn't *make* me anything.

He just...

it just... 


It was company and the best kind.

It was a familiar kind.

"Let's go read a [LARP] book and go to bed." he said.

And we smiled.

It was company and the best kind.

It was familiar and kind.

It was...

as natural and nostalgic as a geek with their Contra code.

There is no "mystery" to the comfort that's had with a letter H even if you didn't swipe right... for there to be a right moment.