Audubons and Hummingbirds

It's beautiful how birds of a feather can fly together... even in an afterlife.

After Jess died my aunt told me about a bird that had been seen outside of the window at my uncle's house. It started to appear shortly after the death was discovered. The morning I would go to her funeral the bird would return. My aunt and I smiled through our tears.

I am happy to say that I have seen more hummingbirds since then. It has been seemingly random but also very particular. There have been several instances where I have been in my car or otherwise out and about (again: in the car generally more than not) and thinking of her or sad or... and there will appear a hummingbird.

If I had a spirit animal it would be a hummingbird or a sea horse." I've said in passing with friends previously. 

Sure enough.. there it is. In real form.

I have had a connection with birds for a long time. I've gravitated towards them for as long as I could remember. I never owned any however. 

When I was a child my grandmother showed me pictures of the Audubon Birds. I forget what the reason was or why. It may have been one of our days painting on the screened in porch in her home. I forget.

Some time ago however, my dad was tossing out things. He had a print of some Audubon. He said it was boring and ugly and was just going to toss it. That it had come from my grandmother's home or something. I snatched it immediately (after asking kindly of course). 

The print was "Magpie Jay (Calocitta Formosa) by James John Audubon.

I have had this print for some time now. It has lasted several moves. Despite much/most of my belongings currently being in storage, this print is currently with me... sitting next to my bed on the floor serving as a reminder of the beauty of those birds and the connection to my grandmother.

Yesterday I was out and about driving.

I have a story for over there that I will be drafting shortly as well. But that is a different story and a different section.

I had a request from a foreigner that is studying in the medical field. She asked for a medically related or otherwise quirky postcard. I ended up in an area near such a place where I knew I would be able to find something perfect for this. It was also near a place where I could get a free sandwich thanks to another former passenger. It was lunchtime. There was also a mystic shop nearby and I wanted to get a Hamsa. It was too stacked not to go in that shop.

When I arrived I was greeted to grand and beautiful forgotten things. This is a store that my grandmother would have loved if she was alive. I'm honestly not sure what my sister would have thought of it. It's a bit odd and there is a lot of natural and dead things. Taxidermy lines the walls. Bones are available for purchase. There is so much there that is... a little off center.

I dug through postcards there and found something perfect. I found several somethings perfect. I got a couple of cards for my pen pals. I got a card for a friend/fellow parent I speak to in Michigan. I got something I knew I would get that I would share with my brother. But then...

There were some amazing things there. I didn't look at most of them that trip. I am very behind on bills so I had to force myself not to. I was sad that the shop had been reduced to only one room now. It had been two the last time I had been there. The last time I'd gone had been with Stars last summer. It had been far too long. The store held so much pain and beauty in it and...

There were these postcards from the 20s-50s in a section. They had fold out pictures done in such a gorgeous bright process. I thought about my days working with photography and missed this incredibly. And, while I did get a couple of those card sets, that wasn't even the best thing.

In another stack, there it was: my magpie jays. Immediately I was filled with a happiness through the somber death around me. It was a light shining through all the way down.

I paid less for that print than I did the other cards and the special trinkets I got that day. It was the best thing.

I told the story to the owner about my dad wanting to throw away the print.

"You never throw away an Audubon." she said definitively in agreement.

This morning I woke up and felt compelled to write about it. As I started, and I thought of both gram and Jess I started to cry. I couldn't do that yesterday in the middle of the storms around me. It had frustrated me so. But there it was... the tears I'd been seeking.

As I go through my day I will be carrying the card in my purse. I will be searching for those instances where hummingbirds cross my path. I will be thinking of both of them. I am thankful. I am ever so thankful. 

Is there anything that makes you think of a loved one that passed? If you'd want to let me know, please do. Thank you for reading and have a great day.