Some stories still go on even after...and are paired with mermaids and their creator and back again.
Once upon another lifetime, I used to be a regular at this coffee shop.
It's that... aching familiarity without that sentiment.. or a different one either.
I started coming here shortly after I moved here to LA. As a draft that was not yet published from July 16th would state, over eight years ago. I ended up here through serendipitous intersections after my first friends here in Los Angeles would ask me to go to a place where would be the start of this journey to LA... a place that would lead me to somewhere I would continue to go for ages even after that that.
A fare today, also not written about, would lead me close to here this morning. Hours later I'd still be sitting here toiling away sifting through the ashes of pictures and memories that were connected to some of those very first Los Angeles experiences.
I'm sitting here at a coffee shop watching a movie in the background that I'd found in a little public library recently that is forever tied to history. History sits in history sits in history.
The barista here is also one from my past. It's crazy thinking that she's been a staple for this long too. She outlasted the rocker. We both survived him. And at the end things are far better.
"He messaged me a few months ago asking me to hang out again." I told her as I was ordering my cup of tea.
"Don't. For your own emotional well being. I encourage you not to."
"You know he talked so poorly of you back then. I figured you hated me." I told her.
"I never hated you. I hated what he was doing to you. It's good to see you again. It's been a long time."
It's amazing how much there is comfort in knowing these things about the world I live in. About how a place for a cup of coffee could look frightening simply by the perception afforded to me by someone else. Of a perception that I wanted so deeply to believe in. But it was all just optimism sadly. Optimism that would be told was just me thinking wrong... but...
I'm sitting in this coffee shop writing and reflecting on a path of my tenure here and how it's shaped me. Of the invisible pieces that make up this journey and the steady comforts of a cup of coffee after a fare that was the start of this adventure and yet into another.
And it even features a figure that people sometimes call me too.. even though she's in bronze and lacking clothing of course.
It's wonderful how I have these little places to go to even when things are dark and cold. It's wonderful how I can go here in the aftermath of being once loved.
A table over has a little girl and her mother. The little girl is so happy to be here.
"It's awesome here mommy. I love it here. Thank you for taking me."
I think about Jonas. I think about Maddox. I think about Ethan. I think about Sakura. I think about the little loves that could have been and the ones that were. Of the pieces of me scattered throughout this big city that I cry so much to share with my minis and perhaps even someone lasting.. who may or may not rock but is free and loves this just as much as I do... and maybe me too.
Where do your adventures take you in the big city? I'd love to hear from you. If you'd like more of these stories brought to you by the resident muse and mermaid little girl in the big city, please tune in. Have a great day wherever you are.